馭子術 (網摘)

跟朋友聊天，家中都有同齡的小貝比，心有戚戚焉，身有同感這些兩歲的貝比實在非常的“盧”，不可理喻。特自Your Parents.com網摘來一則管教參考。

Transition Struggles

Transitions -- putting the brakes on one activity and starting right up with another one -- are tough on toddlers. Bedtime may be one of the hardest, but others, such as leaving the playground, having to stop playing to get in the car for errands, or being left in a babysitter's care as Mom and Dad walk out the door can also elicit tears and tantrums. After all, toddlers live in the moment, don't have a real concept of time, and are only just beginning to understand that separations don't last forever, says Gail Reichlin, executive director of the Parents Resource Network in Chicago.

On top of that, they don't have the language skills to say, "I'm right in the middle of something. Just give me five minutes." Instead, they often resort to tears or tantrums when told it's time to stop what they're doing. Temperament also plays a part in how your little one handles transitions. Some children, just like some grown-ups, oppose anyone who wants them to make a change.

Yet learning how to make transitions is an important developmental step. Everybody needs to learn how to bring one activity to a close and invest attention in something else, says Kathleen Grey, a family development specialist at the Center for Child and Family Studies at the University of California at Davis.

Of course, not all transitions call for the same plan of attack -- the solution for the stalling depends on the specific situation. Here's a roundup of strategies for trying to get your toddler moving when he digs in his heels.

6 Transition Tactics
1. Give advance warning. You can't expect kids to stop what they're doing on a dime. And time is a blurry concept to toddlers, so "We have to leave in 10 minutes" is not meaningful. If your child is engrossed in his play, but you need to take him with you to the store or to pick up an older sibling at school, start preparing him in advance. Set a timer to ring five minutes before you want your child to get ready, Grey suggests. Tell him that when the bell rings, it'll be time to go. And while you're waiting, say something like, "When you hear the bell ring, I'll help you put on your shoes and put the puzzle away, and then we'll get into the car and go to the grocery store." When the bell goes off, reiterate that it's time to get ready to go.
If a timer isn't an option (you're at the playground, for example), use references relevant to your child: "I'll push you on the swing 10 times, and then we have to go."

2. Develop rituals. To make transitions that involve separation, such as being cared for by someone else, the predictability of a set routine gives a child a sense of control and order. When dropping your child off at day care, you might give her three kisses and then ask for three in return, or read your child two books before walking out the door -- whatever works to help your child predict what's going to happen next.

3. Keep your language simple. Making your words brief can short-circuit power struggles. Rather than explaining why your toddler needs to come to the dinner table, try kneeling down right in front of her and whispering a one-word description of what she'll be eating. All a child needs to hear is "soup" or "spaghetti" and she'll probably be happy to put the toys aside and move on to her next activity -- mealtime.

4. Offer choices. Presenting your child with options gives him lots of room to cooperate. But don't give too many, and make sure that the choices are not whether to comply, but how to comply, Grey says. For example, don't say, "Do you want to put on your shoes?" if "No" isn't an option. Instead, you might say, "Do you want to wear shoes or sandals?"
If your toddler refuses to budge, you might ask him if he wants to walk to the car or wants you to carry him.

5. Avoid making threats. Counting down ("If you're not on your feet by the time I count to 10... ") or threatening a time-out doesn't work because both back a child into a corner, putting him in a position of losing face, Grey says. Either he has to back down or lose your love and approval, which is a big thing to ask of a young child.
First, tell her in a calm voice that it's time to go, using short, simple sentences. Put your hand on your child's shoulder, or take her hand gently and guide her to where you want her to go. If you've given it your best shot and your child is still balking at stopping his play, try saying, "I can see that you don't want to come along. I'm going to help you now. I'm going to pick you up and carry you."

6. Get down to your child's level. It tends to be very effective when you veer away from arguing and simply change your tone of voice, Reichlin says. Rather than running after your child holding the shirt you want him to put on and telling him to be still, get down on one knee and lower your voice to a whisper. Tell her very softly what you would like her to do. She may be so surprised that she'll willingly switch gears and move on to the next activity.
Helping your toddler learn to make transitions smoothly pays off in the long run. It's doubtful that he'll ever grin broadly as he drops his toys into the sandbox and hops into his stroller to go home for a nap. But with patience and diplomacy, you can help him take a few steps forward.

英文小才子

那天，拿拿一個人自己大聲地喃喃自語，值得深入探查一番，結果大發現！他一個人自己正在念著非常字正腔圓的英文字母。當然，他也並非照著次序正規的唸，慢慢的一個一個字母大聲說，隨興所至，有時念著自己變化式的發音。很有意思，煞有介事地，仿如一位小小演說選手，毫不害羞毫不遜色，簡直是非常出色的一場表演。

回想起來，家裡、沒有錯，是有個很大很清楚的、有動物圖片的字母卡，覽人媽媽也幾乎每天都給他們看公共電視的"Super Why"(正是個教拼音與發音的節目)，圖書館借回來的書也都是英文。可是家裡都是華語的環境呀，也沒有甚麼好納悶的，小孩就是這樣，不知不覺的變大了變聰明了，學東西了，每天都不一樣，每天有驚喜。

從此，逛超市，去餐館，弟弟看見了英文看板或小書書，他就自然的賣弄起來了，倒也有好幾分準確度。哥哥在一旁樂得當聽眾，嘴巴也跟著模仿只是不出聲，彷彿告訴著他還沒有準備好這份演說。弟弟小拿，彷彿天生的表演者，英文學得快，索性陪他也念念唐詩，哪天他又無師自通也不稀奇了。

從母親節~~到父親節

從母親節到父親節，五月中到六月中下旬，夏夏從邁步走，到跑快步跟弟弟一同唔唔唔~~。半年前的今天，他還堅持著不翻身、不站立、不可能走路的三原則，到現在每天的活動力十足，實在難以倒帶想像當初、當初、當初的點、點、點，令人不禁讚嘆小孩的成長變化，快得驚人。

很多時候，我們想像未來，期盼未來，恐懼未來，不可知的未來。當從反方向來看，亮了明牌之後，往往當初的辛苦與盼望，都變成了一個具體的街道。條條大路通的都是羅馬，回頭看，走哪一條路都不重要了。

享受當下，小孩最需要爸媽的這一個時刻，百分百的辛苦，百分百的喜樂。度過了前半年小孩剛出生的，幾乎是天天失眠的六個月，從此我們人生的心願變小了、容易知足，天下再也沒有更幸福的了，莫過於能夠好好睡上一覺，就足夠了。四個人的人生，首先改變了爸爸跟媽媽，謝謝你們，小貝比。

正義使者

哥哥手特別巧，常常在媽媽的書櫃搗亂，整齊的書架，已經排得很密不容易拿出，可、以夏夏的耐性跟毅力，往往才一會兒功夫，他就已經把書上的雜誌等等扯下來。這時小拿就會跟著媽媽用力地高唱~~~『NoNo~~~~』，彷彿自己是個正義使者。

有時小哥哥甚至撕起媽媽珍藏多年的雜誌，心灰意冷地，平靜的說著『NoNo』，不想大聲、乾脆臉拉下來不理他ㄌ，這時正義使者衝過來了，『NONOOOOOOO』以高分貝像無敵鐵金剛一樣幫媽媽主持正義。小夏吃東西常常兩手都抓滿一堆，喜歡一大口接一大口的不自量力地吃，然後再大口的吐掉，小拿弟弟看不下去，有時乾脆幫撿哥哥丟在地上的東西來吃，也頻頻教訓說『NONOOOOOOO』！

但是這位正義使者一轉眼，不讓人換尿布，扭打成一團，搶玩具一定眼明手快，絕對得頭籌，一定要搶到為止，弱者小夏在一旁哭哭還使勁打人家，彷彿在說“本來就是我的，有甚麼好哭的”。媽媽也跟夏夏說“別理拿拿 ，不share，我們就不跟他玩，他沒有朋友”連忙把小夏拉一旁，可是我們sweet小夏不計仇，一下子就忘記又要找弟弟玩了，弟弟的人氣就是旺、旺、旺。

這位正義使者，黑白兩道都要通吃，大人都沒有他強悍，講話中氣十足，樓上樓下聽得都一清二楚，追趕跑跳碰，轉圈圈，身材一級棒〈抱起來有十分的分量可是卻不虛胖〉，大大的頭有百分之九十以上的比率，笑起來講起話也有十分的說服魅力。

好打抱不平並非壞事，只是別太自己為是，奉勸這位小正義貝比，你並非一家之主，一家之主另有其人，聽話好嗎？

唔唔唔~~~~

互相追逐，是貝比與媽咪的“在家運動”，剛搬過來時他們從推箱子、開遊戲車互相追逐，我們在普林桑頓的新家雖然不大，卻有相當好的地勢，以樓梯為中心成為樓下空間的圓心，小貝比跑來跑去繞圈圈不受阻礙，又、廚房以island桌為中心也成圓心，跑來跑去也是繞圈圈，更完全沒有容易跌倒的小階梯，所以他們常常在家運動-追來追去尖叫成一堆。

西雅圖的二哥出差來，說，“你們家每個地方都沒有死角，在哪裡都可以看得一清二楚，又是個亮晶晶的光線充足的房子，不錯了啦”所謂一清二楚，言下之意是只照顧小孩容易些，更棒的是可以帶著他們附近的步道。小小年紀，那天舅舅牽著，弟弟就上坡下坡上坡下坡，興奮出走，儼然小小健腳隊，我們都相當吃驚、他有這樣的實力。

白天總要消耗他們的體力，媽咪一人不容易帶著貝比出門健行，“在家運動”就顯得重要了。看看他們的反應，媽咪躲起來，哥倆找來了，格格地笑。下一次弟弟學聰明，跟著媽咪才不會跟丟，亦步亦趨，乾脆我就快閃地跑開，沒想到他也亦步亦趨跟過來，想也是，跑、對他，才不是難事，整個人便high起來，像隻小飛機一樣、他開口“唔~唔~唔~~~~”起來，往前衝。

之後呢，他們兩個就這樣"唔~唔~唔~"了將近一個小時，其實只是折返跑，一個跟進一個跟出，媽咪呢，只要在一旁乘涼、發號“唔~唔~唔~”的跑步指令，衝回來就給一個抱抱，看著兩位貝比跑得汗流浹背又開心，後生可畏，完全不累，晚上應該好睡了吧。

從此之後，“唔~唔~唔~~~~”又成為我們在家最受歡迎的遊戲之一。跌了再跑、跑了再跌，至少懂得往前衝，邁向新旅程。

不積不積

弟弟講話講更多了，兩個字的片語對他來說已經不算難事，雖然發音不盡標準，聽起來卻是非常非常的滑稽可愛維妙維肖。夏夏還是一副酷哥樣，愛講不講由他，愛玩不玩也只能由他。

以前兩人常常喜歡在小床下躲起來，說也奇怪，裡裡外外爬進爬出，就不見他們撞到頭。那兒是他們的秘密基地，唯一大人進不來、不好管的位置。一個人在床下，另外一位小貝比就找來溜進來了，我們家的躲貓貓就是這樣開始的。

家具也變成他們玩耍的布景，這裡衣櫃旁有一小條縫呢，馬上有人跑進去，或在書櫃旁依畏著，在火爐的玻璃窗前敲敲敲，搖一搖媽媽的琴燈、扯一扯窗簾也不錯玩、把書架上的書用力拉下來。每天上演你丟我檢的戲碼，每天上映搶玩具的場面，壯烈程度絕不亞於目前的經融風暴。

我們每天要玩的遊戲還有“不積不積”。甚麼叫做不積不積呢？其實是冰淇淋的意思。弟弟發音不準，就變成“不積”了。他們喜歡的玩具就那麼幾項，不是弟弟最喜歡的鴨鴨書、兩人都喜歡的工具盒、百寶箱、要不就屬這家家酒的餅乾及冰淇淋系列了。

我只要隨便一樣、例如說把不積隨手藏起來，就足夠哥倆找老半天了。往往眼睛不夠利，我還可以順勢提醒“媽媽放高高ㄉ”、“就在你後面”，“在床旁邊”趁機鍛鍊日常字彙，往往哥倆合作，百分之九十都找得出來，每天樂此不疲，最能kill time, 也是最不會吵架的遊戲之一。躲貓貓的創意玩法--不積不積。

二十一個月的貝比

- 明顯的、弟弟更會講話了, 以百分之七十的準確度重複大人的片語，之前重複如“蛋蛋”、“包包”、“豬豬”等等，現在也能說出兩個字的字彙，像“拜託”、“地鼠”等等。有一次上大號我不給他書讀，竟然很大聲地跟我說“媽媽~~~，拜託~~~！”。把水倒在地上媽媽大聲指責浪費，他也可以清楚的重複“浪費”兩字。雖然聽得懂很多，可也越有性格，不如意時刻常坐在地上大哭扭來扭去，乾脆不理他，竟可以繼續哭鬧許久for hours。

- 兩人常常吵架，當然是為了搶玩具，永遠都是別人的好，媽媽高喊“share~~~~”，並不奏效，老師說必須講thousands times~~~, 他們也都還懵懵懂懂，誰不讓誰。夏夏有時看弟弟哭得可憐，會大發慈悲給弟弟想要的玩具，慈悲小夏。暴力弟弟，你要檢討，不可以仗著有力高大就欺負人，到底誰才是老大，你沒有搞清楚！

- 哥哥小夏還是很喜歡花花草草，當弟弟酷愛在階梯上爬上爬下時，他也一起玩但是、三不五時也看一下這戶人家的花草，輕輕地摸一下花也高興得格格笑。拿走了他的小毯子，在家裡他又有新嗜好了：這會兒他拿著家裡的大狗玩偶，一下親一下抱，一下又騎在人家頭上。夏夏也越來越說話，常常跟弟弟baby talk對話，也可以清楚說出“鴨鴨”。看弟弟說拜託很有效，他也“掰~掰”掰不出來，達意就好，媽媽懂。

- 夏夏已經會跑了，從搬進新家到現在不到三個月，他從用屁股走路，到慢慢站起來走，推著箱子跑，到現在的兄弟追逐。爬高之後他很會下來，比弟弟還要勇敢呢。或許正是他進步神速的主因。

- 與媽媽在家，弟弟常常不停地說“走走~~”，沒注意聽他說話，他還跑到門邊猛敲。真的要出門，兩位都興奮無比。但是只要一出門，尤其弟弟就樂不思蜀，不能自拔，上回在學校試上課當天，竟跟我盧了半小時以上，不回家就是不回家，“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO”。奉勸各位爸媽，別再跟小貝比說“no”了，老師說要"re-direct him"instead of saying "No". 要不然，就會得到小貝比更用力地跟你，每個地方都說“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

- 夏夏第一天上學，獲得老師的芳心，原因無他，雖然有小哭一會可是、他燦爛甜美的笑容，誰都無法抵擋。拿拿，最近碰見生人，都是斜眼看人，不是害羞也不是害怕，怪怪的，一會才好起來。

- 健腳小拿。讓出差、非常戶外的的舅舅刮目相看。我們也沒有想到，上坡下坡都奇陡無比，舅舅牽著他的小手，還能走得超級興奮，不過當天回家，是有累到伸直腳歇息的景象。

- 都用open cup喝水了，弟弟很厲害可是亂吐一氣，夏夏也可以喝了。拿拿可以吃多一些水果如，kiwi. 很喜歡吃菇菇。

二十個月的貝比- 喜怒無常(pre-two)

又遲到了，二十月的貝比report，趕不出來呀：甚麼景象呢？亂糟糟的家、永遠收不完的玩具，做不完的家事，杯盤狼藉的廚房、永遠沒有自己的時間。小拿病著，流鼻水、咳著、生氣著、嘔吐；小夏精神奕奕不睡覺，白天不想睡晚上也不想睡，把大家作息都搞亂了，調皮搗蛋鬼一個。

貝比輪翻生病，不舒服時都跟大人睡，壞習慣一旦養成，現在趕不回去了，小鬼們晚上睡覺，特別喜歡天馬行空三百六十度大旋轉，三不五時還用腳力大踢做運動，滾來滾去實在不是個好睡的partner。可是，他們也很固執，看見自己床猛搖頭，不要不要，一到大床上一分鐘不到就睡昏過去，差別待遇呀。

夏走路了，說謝謝了，聰明了、好哭。可憐弟弟支氣管炎，嗜睡，不吃東西，打起精神兩個貝比還是繼續搶玩具，推來推去、鬧翻天。拿拿像個小男孩了，高度跟磅數都比哥哥大上兩號。兩個貝比要好的時候非常相好，格格格嘰嘰喳喳的笑著，好景不常，經常是不到一分鐘就翻臉了。

彈琴時間硬要兩人齊坐小椅子，擁擠得很，不能好好的practice，直想把對方擠下去，先是小拿咬哥哥手臂不讓彈，再來哥哥也不示弱回抓他肩膀兩下，這樣子下來，誰都覺得委屈，自然哭翻天了。一場龍爭虎鬥下來，不到五分鐘他們又高興了，喜怒無常之後，最累的就是媽媽了，精神疲勞外加體力耗損.......

教科書上都說“trouble 2"-means: trouble 2-year-old. 我們這廂進入了pre-2的階段，也不是輕鬆的。弟弟今天有進食了，希望是生病好轉的sign，好起來，爸媽再累也值得。

ps:用水杯喝水→小拿已經完全熟練了，小夏也很喜歡只是喝得比較髒

小拿生病記

弟弟病了，咳嗽、吐得嚴重，長周末之前，醫生聽了腹部有雜聲，讓弟弟去一趟Valley Care照了x-ray/blood test. , 告知有輕微的支氣管炎(bronchitis)&輕微的肺炎(pneumonia)。病懨懨的弟弟，少了精力的弟弟，爸媽都心疼，除了吃藥多休息，我們也無能為力，夏夏查覺狀況不對，多拍拍弟弟表示疼惜。增加了抗生素劑量，增加了處方籤的aeroChamber Plus(ProAir HFA albuterol sulfate inhalation aerosol)，為幫助呼吸暢通。

先是小夏不舒服，咳嗽了兩個星期才好轉。再來是媽媽跟弟弟，發燒、全身痠疼。朋友說，妳們交叉感染了。小孩生病，整個家都亂了方寸~~~